Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize