I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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