No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
