She said her name was "party"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
