Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
