That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
