Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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