i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
