i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
