If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I could fuck to npr.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize