I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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