he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
