How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Enjoy the penises
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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