the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
