dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
