i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
