butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize