Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
