jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
