If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
