He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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