Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize