he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
