it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
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