Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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