The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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