My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
