thus making me awesome and them whores
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
