There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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