Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
