I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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