If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
