This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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