sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
