You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
