so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
