He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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