I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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