Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
