I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
How's work?
Spinning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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