Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
