I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
