She is in my trunk
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
