They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
