Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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