that's an acceptable place to lick
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
