I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
