If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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