last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
