i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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