OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Still dying that you shit outside
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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