She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
