k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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