i already hear my dad disowning me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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