Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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