Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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