She is in my trunk
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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