The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
