okay pat passed out under dana's car
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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