I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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