where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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