And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so much tequila, so little girl.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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